ROLLERCOASTER!!!
Thursday, June 21, 2007 at 10:10PM I originally was not going to publish this blog, but I realized this site is about me, and my relationship was a major part of my life. My boyfriend and I have broken up after 9 1/2 years, I'm now living in a hotel, and looking for an apartment. My boyfriend thinks he has fallen out of love with me, which is probably true, but I know he has some major issues that he's not ready to face right now. Over the weekend, it got so uncomfortable to be living with him, so he offered an efficiency apartment to live in for a month. Today, I had an appointment with my hair stylist (who gives excellent advice,) and he used the metaphor of "The Gilded Cage,” to represent the relationship between my boyfriend and me. I was a hell of a Prince Cockatoo! Last weekend, neither of us were sleeping, or eating either, and I'm already 20 pounds underweight, as it stands, so that wasn't a good thing.
At first I was in shock, it just happened so fast. Now, I can't deal with the stress of being a workaholic designer any more, all I have is this website, and yoga, and Pilates. This relationship defined my life…hmm? Leaving the apartment was the worst, the doormen were like an extented family, I made a lot of friends with people who live in the building, and how can I create that picture perfect view again. I know it's just stuff, but it was great stuff. The first night in the hotel was awful, I hadn't really unpacked, and the place was a mess, (or my Virgo, control freak self, thought it was a disaster.) I was on the seventh floor, facing 7th Avenue, and there must have been fifteen fires throughout the night, because all I heard were hooks and ladders, and sirens. Unfortunately, I called my boyfriend at two in the morning, crying, and saying I wanted to come home.
On the second day, I was so hyperactive in a positive sort of way, probably because of the lack of sleep, and not eating. I made an emergency appointment with my psychopharmacologist, I explained to her what happened, she said I wasn't myself at all, and she set up another appointment, just to see how I was doing the next day. The shock had subsided, I was in a better state, (and $500 later,) she said I could see her in two weeks. I was much more comfortable in the apartment, I bought an orchid at Whole Foods across the street, I did my laundry for the first time in 8 1/2 years, and I actually thought I could be alone. Every day is like a roller coaster, one day you're up, then you're down, and sometimes you're in an inverted, suspended, multi-element linear induction shuttle roll.
Reader Comments (1)
what is a URL OPTIONAL?
Dear David, I do so love you...and now, thanks to your chatty blog, I know your Mom is younger than me...but isn't everybody? Hope your dear Dad is well also. I am too too poor these days to send a housewarming gift, but that is another story...I'll save it for the phone. I am terrifically busy out here in Slumville (my 2nd apt in NYC was in Hells Kitchen, 9th ave. between 5oth and 51st with a pair of les///my FIRST apt in NYC was shared with Andy Warhol but I am certain I have told you THAT story in the past). You are still welcome to come out and visit here for some days (weeks if you like). I get into the city every couple of weeks but actually fly in, do the doctors then escape at once. I am wildly busy out here (still endlessly unpacking, photographing and repacking my endless possessions to sell them (this house is less than 1000 sq ft...much less, and you know what I am used to S-P-A-C-E !
I LOVE THE PIC OF YOU ON THE TOP OF THE BLOG (PLUS MARVELOUS DOG) AND THE WHOLE THING IS QUITE BEAUTIFUL. IF YOU COME OUT AND VISIT YOU CAN HELP ME DO ONE.
I HATE ANDRE FOR NOT LOVING YOU FOREVER AND FOR HIS F-UP LIFE.
STAY IN TOUCH. I AM SURE I WILL FORGET HOW TO 'ACCESS' YOU AS SOON AS I SIGN OFF. AS FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY (MY BIRTHDAY DATE BOOK SITS IN TAOS) IN DECEMBER...THANKS, I WILL TRY TO MAKE IT TO THE PARTY! now that I have invited myself. Love, love, love, s